Tomorrow (technically tonight, whatever) I'll be off to Vegas in a happy neon haze. So tonight's when I get the misgivings out of the way.

Back in November I said to [livejournal.com profile] new_man "do you want to skip Vegas and go back down south?", but I didn't really have enough time off to go down for another week, and less wouldn't really be worth it, so we planned to go have fun instead. As it turns out, even without impacting my job hunt or social calendar I could have taken off this week and next — it's hard not to think that I should have called him up a week ago and changed our plans. That even now we could change our minds and get a week of work done. I know that's not realistic at this point, and I know that we've "done enough", but I don't want to feel like I've done my part and I can ignore it. I want the job to be done. I don't know when I'll have another good chance to do something about it.

Oh, well. I'm going to Vegas, I'm not going to feel bad about it while I'm there, and I probably won't feel guilty about it later. I'm as entitled to have fun as anyone else. But... It's been a sucky week, and I could have spent it building houses rather than gazing at my navel.

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learnedax

November 2011

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