two steps closer

[learnedax]

I am, give or take a couple of things, unpacked. A couple more weeks and it might be home.

I filed for divorce this morning. Having waded through all the annoying paperwork, I was almost surprised how easy that part was. (Except I had to run to the ATM, because I forgot that they'd only take cash or check (have I mentioned how amazingly stupid it is that getting divorced costs fifteen times as much as getting married?).) Now I have a tiny little receipt and the promise of a hearing.

Comments

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

If you have a retirement account & haven't already dealt with that annoying paperwork, don't forget to call the bendor and have them send you the QDRO booklet. That, you can mostly leave with your lawyer, but it's where the judge specifies how much (if any) of your account will get withdrawn and put into an account in her name.

Don't be surprised if that part takes a while. It is a long, tedious, often stupid process

[tpau]

why i nthe world would any of his retirement accoutn go into my account? it's his money!

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

ERISA a govt. law set up in the 70's for the protection of the spouses. You can try to tell the judge you don't want any, but he has the right to award you some of it. It's an asset

[tpau]

if the judge says it's gotta happen, do we hav eto actually do it if i don't want it?

[cat9.livejournal.com]

I just stumbled into the middle of your conversation, but here in Vermont if you file a joint request for divorce (the form for which includes divying up all your stuff), the judge doesn't meddle around with any of your choices. They just review it, and then confirm with both of you that you agreed to everything of your own free will. I'm pretty sure that the whole joint request thing works the same in Mass, so if that's what you filed you probably don't have anything to worry about.

[tpau]

thatis what we filed, yes

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

Yep! Judge's word is law. I

[learnedax.livejournal.com]

You know, we're both highly-paid professionals who are not seeking anything from each other. I *think* a judge is unlikely to go around awarding random stuff.

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

Depends on if you were both highly paid professions at the beginning and all through the marriage. Not saying it will happen, but it's something you have to take care of. Otherwise, you could lose part of your account

[tpau]

hm... no, for like half of it i wa sahighly paid professional and he was unemployed andthen we were both unemploye dand then he was workignand i wasn't and then we both were....